
THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO..


This is what was in an envelope that conspicuously accompanied my paystub at work this week...
(The names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Double-psyche!
They love me? They love me not?
Just got this in email from a higher-up..
For 2006, fulltime staff employees who are not eligible for the Division Incentive Plan will receive a holiday gift of $350. Any part-time staff employees will get $200. You’ll find it in your paychecks next week. In 2007, we will give you more information about our new bonus plan that will incorporate divisional, local and personal goals.
I hope you all have a happy and healthy holiday season.
I have since found out the $0 check was a semi-snafu due to generation of a tax statement on a $25 gift certificate I received for Employee of the Month. Well it looks like a CEO might actually get his wings this Christmas after all..


jelly of the month
Clark W. Griswold: It's a one year membership in the Jelly of the Month Club.
Cousin Eddie: Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

funny but good news!
As fortold in prophecy, "and he who has done the work of good shal receive a sign. A seemingly empty gesture heralds the coming of a token of warrant" You're getting a gift card, son! rejoyce!

Those lovely lady lumps
My company gives us our "holiday bonus" in February. But it's not such a bad thing- think about how easy it is to stuff a bunch of I.O.U.'s in a Christmas stocking instead of all those lumpy gifts.
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.

Proof of my previous post...
From: Tumin Itstulate
Sent: Friday, December 15, 2006 2:25 PM
Subject: 2006 STIP Proration
Hello!
You are receiving this e-mail as a reminder that your 2006 STIP bonus payable in February
2007 will be prorated. The STIP proration policy impacts all employees whose salary or
target STIP % changed between April 1, 2006 and November 1, 2006. Changes that occurred
on/before March 31, 2006 and After November 1, 2006 will not be factored into the 2006
STIP calculations.
You will receive specific details around your final STIP bonus and proration calculation on your confirmation sheet in February 2007.
As always feel free to call me with any questions or concerns.
Tumin Itstulate
Director, Human Resources | 212-666-3825
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.

Ah, yes, happy times.
There is no such thing has a "holiday bonus" where I work. But at least they don't rub your face in it. That's really funny.



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