You woke up one morning, and the Internet had pictures. Wynona Rider no longer represented Hollywood's youth. And your CD collection - which hasn't changed since 1997 -is no longer cutting edge. Is this a nightmare? No, worse. You're a Gen-Xer.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that growing up in the Boomer's shadow was tough. You're right about one thing, the Boomers aren't as important as they think they are. And hey, I'm the first to admit that my generation - Gen Y - has it's share of issues too. But to watch Gen-Xers embrace this media brand name as their identity (and, worse, wear it as a badge of honor) is about as horrifying as watching Santa Claus & all his elves gang rape the Christmas puppy. I mean, do we really have to tolerate this? Why do you love to pigeonhole yourselves into what some crappy Time Magazine article from 1990 says you should be?

Tyler Durden summed up Generation X beautifully. "Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives". Oh, no wonder you are all so proud.

Not once, has a Gen-Xer sincerely asked me how I was doing. I've gotten "hey" or "what's up", but never an honest inquiry into my life. Reason why? They aren't interested in forming actual relationships. They live solely in their heads. That's why they are so selfishly noncommittal. The thought of having to put someone else's needs before their own is pure terror. Sure, they love to criticize celebrities for their day-long marriages, but even caring for a goldfish is too much sacrifice. I love to show off my tattoos and brag about my marriage to a certain Gen-Xer at work. They practically tremble like Michael J Fox at the thought of absolute devotion.

....Next week, Gen-Xers try to "have a conversation".